Today I spoke with my oldest daughter about trying to find an appropriate costume for her 12 year old. She wanted to be Harley Quinn and as you can imagine those costumes are a little bit revealing. They ended up making the costume so that she was covered. See, the thing is, my granddaughter is 5’7″ and that is very tall for a 12 year old so the store-bought costumes that fit her are in no way age appropriate.
I am not going to rant or rave about how this holiday has become a sexy adult party. I think everyone should celebrate every chance they get and this includes young adults. I will not judge anyone for what they wish to wear.
What I will say is this, in making the costumes yourselves, you get an unexpected perk, time with your kids.
My parents dressed me as casper the friendly ghost using a pillowcase and some paint. I also went as a member of KISS one year, but again my dad painted me up perfectly. My parents were artistic but they also didn’t have a ton of money to go out and get the costumes that we wore. These were the best costumes that I have ever worn, and you are talking to someone that goes to Renaissance festivals in style.
I am glad that in some circles the homemade costumes are making a comeback! Get busy being creative and enjoy each and every holiday in as many cultures as you can. Live it up and be safe tonight!
It has been two years to the day since one of the worst days of my life.
On October 30, 2012 my then 17 year old daughter decided that suicide by gunshot was the way to go instead of arguing with her boyfriend any further.
She is alive and well and out there being a normal 19 year old full of ups and downs but it was a long road to get her back to the roller coaster known as the teen years.
Today instead of having a panic attack and steeping myself in this memory, I have decided to feel everything that I need to feel. To own those feelings. To give myself time to feel them and then to move on.
I also want to share with all of you that time is precious, family is priceless and love is nonjudgmental. Call someone that you love today and tell them so.
I have been hearing a lot of talk over the last few days concerning Amazon and how they go about helping authors to gain a little extra publicity for their books. The newest trend would appear to be ‘Likes’ on an Author Page. The more likes you have the more Amazon like you. Or something like that.
I have not yet seen anything that officially states this, or unofficially explains the logic behind it, but, who am I to question the Amazon gods.
With that said, I’d love it if you would do a quick, costless ‘one-click’ and give my page a like.
I opened my email to find over 40 various subscription messages. Number 41 on the email list is the one that made me smile! Thyroidasaurus nominated my new little blog for the One Lovely Blog Award. Thank you so very much!
As I’ve read, here are the rules (copied from Thyroidasaurus, copied from Weight2lose2013):
The One Lovely Blog Award nominations are chosen by fellow bloggers for those newer and up-and-coming bloggers. The goal is to help give recognition and also to help the new blogger to reach more viewers. It also recognizes blogs that are considered to be “lovely” by the fellow bloggers who choose them. This award recognizes bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with viewers and followers. In order to “accept” the award the nominated blogger must follow several guidelines:
Thank the person who nominated you for the award.
Add the One Lovely Blog logo to your post.
Share 7 facts/or things about yourself.
Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and inform the nominees by commenting on their blog.
Seven facts about myself:
After finding myself with an empty nest, I promptly filled it with dogs, cats, chickens, turkeys, guineas and ducks.
I have been going grey since I was 17 years old and just this year I let it all come in. It is the brightest shade of white and I love it. BTW…I’m only in my 40’s. 😉
I have picked up and moved far away on many occasions and regret none of them!
My oldest daughter thinks I’m a rockstar and my youngest thinks I’m a dork.
I am not a fan of chocolate. I don’t know why and I do realize that this is so controversial that it could start a minor skirmish, in my family anyway.
I have had a while to think about things and have come to the conclusion that I know absolutely nothing with any certainty. I have made peace with this.
I write books for fun and crunch numbers for pay, but in between those spaces my life happens and it is amazing.
NOW! For my nominations! 🙂 I will share, as Thyroidasaurus did, that I too do not know how to tell how many followers you have, so if you are not up and coming but already established, I apologize. Just know that I love your blog.
Thyroidasaurus : Because she is a caring person and that shines through in her writing, oh and we seem to share a love of animals. 🙂
This morning started off kinda funky. My son-in-law crushed two of his fingers at work. He is ok and will keep both fingers so I was happy about that. I had a phone call for a job interview that I was really excited about. My husband is having a severe case of the Mondays and my chickens all escaped before ten o’clock this morning (not to worry they are all back up now).
As I was on the phone with my daughter getting an update on my son-in-law and laughing at the now distinguished club that he belongs to in our family, those of us that have lost or almost lost our fingers, a person died in the hospital emergency room bed next to them. I could hear the family in the background starting to scream as my daughter was hanging up with me.
I am not going to lie. I am still crying a bit because I have been where that poor family is, and it brings those memories back full force even though I don’t know these people. I will have to follow up with my daughter to make sure she is ok as I know that her PTSD and subsequent panic attacks are going to kick in being so close to the scene. Just hearing the terror and disbelief in their voices at that moment was enough to send me chills 2500 miles away.
Even though this day has been strange for me, my perspective has completely changed. I will never forget what it is like to have a really terrible day.
To that family, that is at this very moment reeling from the shock of a lost loved one, my heart is with you.
Also, in the middle of nowhere it is hard to find work.
We picked up and moved halfway across the country and I have taken the last year to just gather myself and indulge in my writing. Well, that time has come to an end. I will still be writing but I am returning to work, if I can find it.
We left Austin to buy some acreage and get back to peace and quiet. The only problem is that in a small town the coveted jobs are hard to come by.
I made my way in the start-up industry that thrived in Austin in the late 90’s until just a few years ago. The up side was great pay and benefits as well as getting to wear many hats and never being bored. The down side is that because of this my resume looks like a series of two year stints with now nonexistent companies that had really cool names. In towns that run on the manufacturing industry and shift work I am truly a fish out of water.
Fortunately there may be a silver lining, I still have a strong back and a strong work ethic. I may not make the money that I did back in the tech company boom but at least I will be able to pay my bills and socialize as long as I am not too picky about my wage.
Do you ever dream about loved ones that are deceased? I do. Every now and then my mother and grandmother will come and see me in my dreams. My great-grandmother used to come but hasn’t in years. I always enjoy those visits.
The last one that I had was almost like a movie in my head as it started.
I woke up at 5:30 that morning, which is early for me as I am not a morning person, and after my husband left for work I laid back down for about an hour long “nap”.
Well I was in that perfect space between asleep and awake as the dream started and I saw myself folding clothes in my bedroom. The windows were open and the sheer white curtains were barely moving in the breeze. I looked in the mirror and saw my granny on the bed but when I turned around to look she wasn’t there so I looked back at the mirror and she was laughing. I begged her to come out of the mirror and she did. She was sitting lazily across my bed now and still laughing as though she had played the funniest prank ever. I was in the middle of talking with her when my mom popped her head around the doorway with a big smile and said “Hey there!”. I was overjoyed that they were there to see me, it had been over a month. I went toward my mother for a hug and a song began to play. I knew the tune was from The Carpenters because my mom whispered who it was to me while we danced. My granny was not laughing anymore, she was just watching mom and I dance around the room. As the song was ending mom put her hands on my shoulders and told me that they had to go and I started crying. She smiled and started backing out of the doorway with me begging her not to go. Granny had already left.
This is where I woke up, still crying, but happy. I ended up looking up the mystery song and found it. I am posting a link at the bottom.
I lost my grandmother and my mother just over a year apart. In the beginning I would only ever see granny and she is always a prankster in my dreams. If you knew her in life you would understand. That woman actually did make sailors blush, I saw it happen.
My mom, on the other hand, I only ever saw in reflections for the first year or so. I could never hear what she was saying until one day I focused in my dream and pulled her from a store front glass that I was seeing her in and we sat together on a park bench and talked for a while. I was so relieved to be seeing her in front of me instead of in the glass because I could feel her when I hugged her that way.
These dreams could probably be analyzed to death, but here is my takeaway:
I get to see them, even if only in my dreams. I am ok with that at this point because it is the best that I can get.
I feel fortunate to have this type of dream and take comfort in sleep at night because even if I am fighting a zombie horde I am aware that I am dreaming and so it is almost entertaining to watch. Actually getting to visit and express love is the best though.
Have any of you ever experienced this and if so was the experience wonderful or terrible?
I hit a slippery slope of self doubt last night regarding publishing my first book, writing my second and missing my kids.
While in the midst of this deep struggle my husband initiated a rousing game of chase around the house. I was annoyed at first but he kept at it. The dogs joined in and before I knew it I was just so over myself. He won the game, finally catching me but it is ok because I waited until he was almost asleep and put my cold hands on his ribs and then ran. He has promised a rematch today when he gets home.
What does this mean? Well it could either be very deep and meaningful or completely goofy. Either way I am feeling much better today.
My Self Doubt Cleaning Kit:
1. A good friend to listen.
2. A laugh that is both genuine and a bit obnoxious.
3. A game of chase with someone that is faster than you.
The newest book that I am working on is called “The Renovation”. The picture posted here is of my home as it looked when we first purchased it before it was brightly painted and fixed up. In the new book this lovely 118 year old home is terrifying beyond belief with all of its strange doors and wooded acreage surrounding it. In real life, however, it is a beautifully charming place full of love.
My main character will have a terrible time in a home that I love so very much. I wondered about basing a horror story on my own little piece of heaven but then thought to myself, “Hey, they say write what you know.” What better motivation than to walk these halls in the dark and find out where that bump that she heard may have come from. Going out on a moonless night into the woods behind the house and just listening to the animals that live out there. I purposely wrote in a barn owl at one point because the very first night in our new/old home my husband and I sat up in the bed after hearing what sounded like a woman screaming. We both figured out that it was an owl and went back to sleep but I had to research this part of the country and see what type of owl that would be and then listen to clips to find just the right one for the book.
My last book was a fantasy fiction piece written for young adults so everything was completely in my head. This time around I can see and feel what I am writing because I am in the middle of it. I have to say, this is the way to go.
I wrote yesterday about losing my motivation, today I woke up in the middle of it. Opening my eyes this morning it hit me, how awesome is it that I can just take a walk around and find something to write about.
Eternal Butterfly Kisses 